You will come across all types of people in life, and work life is no exception. There will be good colleagues who support and guide you at work, but difficult ones too. Difficult people can make your professional life challenging, and you might even feel demotivated about going to work.
When you encounter a difficult person at work and are struggling, know you’re not the only one. There are many reasons why a colleague may behave the way they do, and why that is so upsetting for you. Finding solutions to resolve the situation or handle your emotions regarding that co-worker is crucial to continue working in the same organization. If you’re dealing with someone difficult at work, here’s what you can do:
Understand Why You’re Triggered
It might happen that you’ve had a bad day yourself, and a co-worker says something that immediately sets you off. Taking a step back from the situation and reflecting on whether it’s you or the other person causing the problem is the first question to answer. You might realize that you’re overreacting to a situation simply because you’re facing pressure at work.
Think back and consider if you’ve ever had problems with the same person before and if they were of a similar nature. Observe and see if the colleague is also having problems with other people at your workplace. Understand why you’re feeling triggered and what action has led you to feel that way. Once you understand your trigger points, you will have an easier time navigating any potential situations that arise with that colleague.
Introduce Boundaries
Establishing boundaries with your colleagues will help maintain a good working relationship while ensuring you don’t have to feel uncomfortable around them. Think about what your work boundaries should be, and how that can help set a basic foundation for others to interact with you.
While you can control your reactions and behavior, understand that you can’t do it for others. If someone else is behaving rudely, it’s not your responsibility to correct that behavior. Instead, you can choose not to respond to that behavior or even acknowledge it. Basic boundaries will help you keep your peace of mind at work, and introduce calm into your day.
Share Your Experiences
Sometimes, your difficult colleague isn’t only difficult with you, but everyone else around them too. When the going gets too tough at work, it can make you completely unproductive and frustrated. In situations like this, it’s always a good idea to discuss what you’re feeling and your experiences with others. It can be a friend, family member, or even a work friend.
When you recount your experiences with a colleague, make sure that it won’t become a part of office gossip later on. Only discuss this topic with a colleague you trust and can rely on. You may find out that they’ve also had similar experiences with the same person, and it can help you feel validated. Having someone to hear and counsel you when dealing with a difficult person can be incredibly helpful for your mental health.
Positive Reinforcement
Rewarding and incentivizing goals can also reduce or eliminate friction in the workplace, especially if meeting the goal requires a team effort. Whether it’s a day off or an entire employee recognition program, the power of incentivizing great teamwork in the workplace can unite employees, increase cooperation, and keep everyone engaged in achieving a common goal.
If you’re in a leadership position, this could be something you can speak with your team about and figure out the best way to implement such a system. If you’re not in a management role, you could suggest this idea to those above you and help build a new program that benefits the employees and the organization.
Be Empathetic
Empathy isn’t just a required skill for leaders, but all employees within an organization. Reminding yourself that you don’t know everything about your difficult co-worker is needed to manage the situation. You don’t know what their personal life may be like and how that is playing a role in their behavior at work.
It can be worthwhile taking time to listen to your difficult colleague instead of instigating them or behaving unprofessionally. If you feel like a colleague at work is being difficult, ask them if they’re okay instead of judging them. You might find out that something at work or in their personal life is bothering them, and it can help you keep calm if similar situations arise in the future. Taking the time to inquire about their circumstances may also help your colleague gain some perspective, and they might be more mindful about their behavior in the future.
Communicate with Them
When you begin to dread going to work all because of a co-worker, it’s time to be proactive about your attitude and your colleague’s behavior. Reach out to your colleague and meet at a safe space to resolve matters. After talking with them, you might realize that both of you were looking at the same situation in drastically different ways.
In the best of situations, you might end up completely resolving the animosity between you and your colleague. But if you let the problem persist without any clear conclusion, it can lead to frustration, anger, and resentment. It’s important that you approach this conversation with your difficult co-worker with a positive mindset, and don’t verbally attack them. Keep the atmosphere optimal for this conversation to take place. Your colleague may not realize that you’re offended or upset by their behavior, and it can ensure that they don’t do it again in the future.
Remain Respectful
Being unprofessional with your difficult colleague or lashing out at them can only make the problem worse. It can worsen the situation you’re facing with your difficult colleague, and make others at work think that you’re a difficult person to work with. Maintaining your dignity and acting respectfully at all times are necessary to handle any situations that arise at work.
Becoming disrespectful to your colleague can also involve you further in a toxic work situation. If you feel like you’re getting too emotional or riled up during any interaction with your colleague, walking away is the best option. If you repeatedly have interactions with your colleague that are leading you to become extremely emotional, it’s time to have a chat with your manager.
Schedule a Meeting With Your Manager
Involving others in your relationship with a difficult co-worker becomes necessary when the situation is no longer manageable. Going to a higher-up, preferably your immediate boss, is recommended when you feel like there is nothing else you can do. It’s best to prepare thoroughly before you approach your manager to discuss these problems.
Prepare notes on issues you are currently facing with your colleague, and how that is impacting your work. Highlight how problems with that colleague have led to a loss of productivity, disengagement, and frustration. If you know how you can resolve these issues, it might be best to mention them during this meeting as well. It can be ideal to have your manager act as a mediator between you and your colleague to ensure that things don’t get too heated and a resolution is found. Your manager may have also heard similar problems being brought to them by other colleagues, and actively try to find a solution suitable for your entire team.
Avoid and Disengage
If you’ve tried all possible methods of trying to communicate with a difficult co-worker without any solution, you need to disengage. Reacting to your difficult colleague might be exactly what they want, and avoiding them whenever possible is critical. If you’re in a situation where you have to work with them frequently, look into getting another person involved. If you can’t escape the situation, it’s important to not give value to any personal remarks and triggering comments made by them.
Difficult employees can be the reason behind many toxic workplaces today, and the only way to protect yourself might be through disengaging. If things get to be too much, you can always look into transferring to another department, location, or changing your job entirely.
Look on the Bright Side
When things get to the point of no return, it’s important to remember that there’s always an exit strategy. If you work in a large organization, transferring is a real possibility. If not, you can always try speaking up about your issues and getting more help involved. Even if you are not the problem or the difficult person in the situation, cleansing a toxic atmosphere will make you happier. Dealing with difficult people at work can be challenging, but if you’re committed to resolving the situation, it can be handled in due time.
