Everyone is prone to grief at some point in life. The grief could either emanate from performing low grades in a final exam, relationships break up or losing a loved one. Interestingly, grief doesn’t have a pattern, it’s very personal. One individual may experience grief from a particular situation while others find relief from it. When it comes to marriage relationships, they also carry their own grief when couples are parting ways. While everyone grief uniquely, there are some commonalities in stages of grief. No one gets involved in a marriage, primarily through a colorful wedding to end their marriage later. Situations arise afterward that demands separation or divorce. If in such a case or getting into one, knowing the stages you have to face may help you cope with the situation much better.
5 Stages Of Grief During And After Divorce
In most cases, if there have been issues in your marriage life, but it has never clicked your mind that your spouse may think of divorce, such news may get you unaware and lead you to the five stages of grief. If you are contemplating divorce and don’t know where to start, you can look for the best divorce lawyer in Toronto to assist you legally. Your lawyer may also help you go through these stages of grief. Not everyone can experience all the steps of grief. But one can be assured to find themselves in some. Others take too long in some stages and skip the others, or even pass through every stage. These stages include:
- Denial: This stage can also be referred to as a defense mechanism stage—a stage where your spouse may have passed the news that they want to divorce you. Your mind cannot fathom the news, and you try to numb them. You may pretend the divorce is not happening. According to Healthline, one may assume their partner is upset and may cool in a day or two. In this stage, one may have lots of sorrow as they try to deny that their partner wants a divorce.
- Anger: One way spouses try to cope with grief is to ask endless questions about what led their partner to think of divorce. One may ask, “Why did he/she come up with such a thought?” This is one of the stages where most spouses dwell in before accepting that their partner has decided to move on without them. Unfortunately, some spouses turn their anger to their children instead.
- Bargaining: One of the ways in which divorcing couples try to fix things is by trying to affect the divorce outcome. One may think that if only they would have loved their partners more or expressed concern, they would not have left. Some even try to work things out to see if they can avoid divorce. But if the mere reason that made you contemplate divorce is still there, it’s more probable you won’t have the strength to keep it off.
- Depression: In this stage, one’s mind may seem to settle that a divorce is inevitable. Still, most people at this stage choose to isolate themselves while others can work out their way.
- Acceptance: In this stage, a spouse realizes that the divorce was real, and it’s happening, and the only way to cope is to accept it. No one starts feeling nice because they have accepted divorce; to some, this takes time. Once you accept that a divorce is the only way to ensure you live a healthier life, you can be able to plan for the future and build a new life with or without children.
In any of the above stages, you need a shoulder to lean on. It’s not always easy for one to face the divorce, especially when children are involved. You need someone to help you have the right approach to divorce with children. Talking to someone you trust is very important. These stages are normal for any divorce, and one should not feel as if they are an odd one out. The key to having a smooth divorce is to keep in mind that others have been there too and have made it.
How Can A Family Lawyer Help?
In any case, having a lawyer by your side will not only help you through your divorce process, but that lawyer will ensure you cope with any feeling you have. He/she may be a good source of getting the best mental health professional if they think you need one. Though it may be hard when you think of your life after divorce, accepting it is the best way to heal and move on. A good lawyer can help you find a sense of assurance and make sure to fight for your rights during your divorce process. If you need more information on how to divorce, you can talk to an experienced divorce lawyer.